My Diary
by sweetluv
Summary: Lisa writes about what she learns from love, was reflective.


I don't own Simpsons, if I did I'd be gambling away my riches with Marge now.

Lisa (15) lies down on her bed and let herself sink into the pink comforts. She didn't feel like getting mad at Maggie for borrowing her shoes without asking again (doesn't that girl ever think about communicating with anyone?), so she just lie there and let her thoughts float. They got snagged on the subject of her last 'true' loves. Nelson, Martin, Ralph, Rod, Thelonius, and she even went out with Milhouse a couple of times. They all had defects with them.

Nelson wasn't ready to for a mature relationship both times she dated him and she got tired of having to explain everything to him.

Martin was too nerdy, but he was indeed smart and his avocation was poetry. Lisa liked that, but she grew up in a Simpson home. She needed a little excitement to go along with her life. And Martin… Martin just couldn't think up a sonnet for that request.

Lisa only went out with Milhouse because she was on the rebound from her second break up with Nelson. It didn't go that well. People are still talking about the 'divorce'.

Ralph (she refuses to acknowledge them going out more than once), she just really felt sorry for, but after he showed her a good time, she stuck around a bit. At least, until she found out that he supposedly couldn't understand that he was only allowed _one_ girlfriend at a time.

Flanders… she lost a bet.

Thelonius was perfect in every way; he wasn't dumb, didn't have an affair with someone else(s), and mature enough to appreciate Lisa, but he said they needed some time apart after a fight. But, Lisa knew that what he really wanted was someone who wouldn't rival his intelligence.

Lisa sighed and sat up. She reached under her mattress and retrieved a plain violet book. She took the amber pen off her night table and flipped through the pages of her book and rested on a blank sheet.

__

How I long for one who can live up to the word 'man'. None have I known were able to show me the extreme rights to every mans extreme wrongs. I've begun to feel that all men are alike in their ways. I still feel that this shouldn't be true, however, I can not deny the occurrences of my past. Each man I knew in some way was imperfect. Omit last sentence. I do know men who are perfect. They exist in the television, movies, other people's lives, and my favorite ones in books. Fiction that should be true.

Except for all that crap about love at first sight. If you like someone before getting to know them personally, then that's just an infatuation. True Love is when you know that person inside out and still want to be with them. That's why it's been so hard for me. Getting to know them just makes it worse.

All the men I know (Lisa pauses to think) _need help. They need someone to help them know what they should do. They need someone to show them the light to being the perfect courtier. They need to read Castiglione's, Book of the Courtier I think? I've never read it, but I know some that could benefit from Castiglione's ideas. His ideas of how a man should woo a lady. No boy I ever been close to could do that right._

Males make me sick. They really do.

Lisa slams her book shut and closes the cap on the pen then dropped them on her night table. She clutched her pillow tightly. She forced her thoughts to another topic. Homer came up. She giggled slightly as she remembered of all the dumb stuff he's done and still come though alive. He may not be able to express his love for his children, but they knew he loved them anyway.

Bart came up in her thoughts too. Bart was/is/and will always be a troublemaker. But he had a sweet side to his juvenile side. He cared deeply for his baby sisters even though he kept teasing and humiliating them. He was in college now learning to be a truck driver. He said that he forever wanted to roam. Maybe that was the reason he always had a brush with the law in Springfield, no space to roam.

Lisa smiled to herself. She undid the cap on her pen.

__

But not all of them.

A/N: I don't exactly feel the way Lisa does in the beginning, but there are they're working on it.


End file.
